The email made an impact on me and it linked to another recent post of hers on Patheos titled Four Steps to Fearlessness.
I found the post so relevant that I decided to apply the four steps and share them with you.
In short, the steps involve a reading to dig down for the purpose of the fear.
A purpose operates with referential points, points of identification between motivation and end result. In other words, when there’s a purpose, there’s movement and direction. The dictionary defines purpose as “the reason for which something exists”. It’s good practice to transliterate your question so you really get a sense of what is at stake when you ask it, here thus: “What is the reason for which my fear exists?” —Camelia Elias, Four Steps to Fearlessness
I’ve been struggling for months now with a nagging fear of not having enough money, and I can’t seem to wrap my head around why. At the present moment I’m not necessarily struggling (although with three kids I could always use more and there are bills that sometimes have to go unpaid in order to pay for other more urgent things because there’s a finite amount) but the issue at hand is that I’ve been feeling a lurking sense of dread about not having enough. It’s so murky and feels so personal that it seemed like the perfect question for this practice.
The reason I put “finite amount” in italics is that I also have a strange sense of guilt around this fear. It’s as if I feel that I’m somehow bringing it upon myself, this “not enough”-ness. I don’t buy into the overly simplified “law of attraction/The Secret” type thinking that would have me believe if I only somehow removed my mysterious subconscious “money blocks” then the money would start rolling in effortlessly. But that sort of thinking, that I’m somehow bringing this lack down upon myself or somehow avoiding actively seeking out abundance, and therefore perpetuating the lack itself, is definitely present.
So, I framed my question thus:
“What is the purpose of my fear of not having enough money?”
Here’s what I got (Thoth tarot):
Here’s how I read the cards:
The reason why this fear exists is that taking action (Chariot) to have enough money would require me to fully remove my mask (Queen of Swords holding headless man in hand) and that feels like a very forbidding thing to do, which would somehow leave me feeling stuck or trapped (10 of Wands dead end, a signal to go back where you came from).
The reason why this fear exists is that I’m so tired (Queen of Swords slouched on throne, sword hanging down, after so many battles no energy to fight any longer), the fear forces me to stop (10 of Wands forming fiery X) from taking any action (Chariot) to get out there and do what I’d have to do in order to make more; and through that blockage, I’m able to/forced to finally sit down and just rest.
Camelia’s post has a final step: “Devise a magical spell for yourself inspired by the cards that aims at dissolving your fear.”
Here’s what I’ll do:
Write on a piece of paper: “I can take action to make and have enough money and at the same time be both fully exposed and fully rested.”
Then I’ll put the paper under my pillow (rest) and in the morning burn it into ashes (Chariot – action; Wands – fire).
Give Camelia’s reading a try; that is, if you’re fearless enough to face your own fears.
Just as nothing has substance, fear has no substance. But in a play with fear using the visual language of the cards, you may discover just how your fear dissolves and through which concrete channels of manifestation. —Camelia Elias